SAY NO IN CONVERSATION
Say No in Conversation
When someone offers something like a date, wedding invitation, birthday party, some food or drinks, and others, there is a possibility we would refuse the offer because of our own reason, and sometimes we feel bad saying the word “No” to them. In conversation, we usually say, “No, I’m sorry”, “No, thank you”, and “I can’t go”. These are common phrases.
There are more phrases in English you could use to be more polite when refusing an offer:
- It’s very kind of you, but…
That person is kind to offer you something, but you have issues or something that could hinder you from accepting the offer.
Example:
- It’s very kind of you, but I have to pick up my son at 03:00 PM.
- I really appreciate your offer, but unfortunately… or It’s a great offer, but …
It means you are thankful for the offer but can’t accept it.
Example:
- I really appreciate your offer, but unfortunately, I have something to do on Thursday.
- It’s a great offer, but I have plans on Monday and probably can’t make it there.
- It is very tempting, but…
Tempting means making people want to have it. So in this phrase, it could mean that you could make it or you would consider it.
Example:
Jane : Do you want to go to our party tomorrow? It will be amazing!
Josh : Wow, it is very tempting… but I have plenty of work to do.
If Josh really wants to go to the party, he could say: “Wow, it is very tempting! Maybe if I finished this work tonight, I can go with you.”
- I’m going to pass or I think I’m going to pass on it if you don’t mind.
Pass means to skip something. It’s quite informal, but you have to focus on the intonation when you say it.
Example:
Josh : Could you go with me to Walmart? I am going to buy some snacks and drinks.
Jane : I’m going to pass if you don’t mind.
Josh : Okay, I will get you a coffee. See you!
- I’m sorry. I don’t think I can make it.
This means you feel sorry for refusing the offer; these phrases could be helpful if you don’t want to explain the reason (depending on the context).
Example:
Sarah : Josh, could you come to the office this weekend?
Josh : I’m so sorry, Sarah. I don’t think I can make it.
Sarah : It’s okay.
- I’m honored, but… or Thank you so much for thinking of me, but…
These phrases show that you are pleased about the offer, but sadly, you have to refuse it. This will make the person that offered you feel respected.
Ms Lee : Could you go to the office’s dinner with Maria at 09:00 PM? There will be many investors.
Jane : Thank you so much for thinking of me, but I can’t make it.
Ms Lee : Is that okay if I want to know why?
Jane : Umm… I promised to spend time with my son tonight, and I can’t break it again.
Depending on the context, there is a possibility you would say why you could not accept the offer if the person is asking you to explain. However, some people will probably know that you don’t want to talk about it if you are not explaining the reason.
If you are not sure whether you can accept the offer or not and want them to wait for the answer, you could say:
- To take a rain check on something.
This phrase is used to tell someone that you cannot accept an invitation now but would like to do so later, or to ask someone to give you time to think about it.
- Let me sleep on this.
“Sleep on” here means that you want to save the offer, and later you will answer about it. This is helpful when you need more time to think about it or deliberate about the offer so we can give the best decision that has been examined and reduce the problems that arise from the decisions made.
When refusing an offer, it doesn’t mean that you are rude because behind that, there must be a reason that makes us unable to accept the offer, or we just don’t want to do it. It is our right to determine which one we want to do without any sense of compulsion. These phrases above would help you to refuse someone’s offer with respect and don’t make you sound impolite, particularly with your colleagues, elders, parents, and friends.
References:
https://english-at-home.com/refuse-an-offer/
https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/raincheck