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Self Love : In what ways do I show love for myself?

18 Jul 2023

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‘Is loving yourself important?‘ The question popped into the heads of many people. 

According to a psychologist, Deborah Khoshaba Psy.D., Self love is an appreciation of self that is dynamic, which grows from actions that support our physical, psychological, and spiritual growth—actions that make us mature. By being honest with ourselves about our shortcomings and the strengths we have and also being ourselves. One form of self love is to accept the failures that have been experienced by yourself.

Failure is a natural thing because the result of a business is failure or success. However, failure seems to be such a sad thing that even for some people failure is a nightmare. The correct response from a failure is to make it a lesson in the future. But it seems that not everyone applies this, people who have too big ambitions, expectations that are too high, or pressure from outside make the person require that the results achieved are successful. Failure would make them feel deeply regretful of their own efforts, and in further cases they would despise themselves and choose to look down on themselves. They lack self-love, they do not realize everything that hurts them and seeing the future is a very scary thing.

Based on one of the cases that occurred in 2015 in Slovakia, a girl attempted suicide by lying on the railroad tracks. This news was reported by fimela.com, knowing that the girl was under pressure when she found out her test scores, she was afraid of being scolded by her parents, because three subjects in school were low. Luckily, this girl’s life could still be saved even though both of her legs had to be amputated.

While the concept of self-love might seem abstract, according to Mutiwasekwa, self-love encapsulates four aspect: self-awareness, self-worth, self-esteem and self-care. Self-awareness correlates with people’s thought process, how they feel, and how their emotion cause them to react, thus, a person who have grasped the concept of self-awareness is able to respond effectively to an event that makes him/her mad. Next, self-worth is people’s beliefs on themselves where a person that understands the worth of himself/herself is not determined by their qualities, talents, and achievements. Thirdly, self-esteem is when people feel content with the qualities, talents, and achievements that they have, therefore, a person’s self esteem can increase by understanding their self-worth. Last, self-care is an action that a person take to keep their well-being. In a nutshell, self-care is what we usually call healing where people do activities they like to increase their health.

Here are recipes for self-love that are simple in practice:

  1. Stop comparing yourself to others
  2. Don’t worry about others’ opinions
  3. Don’t be afraid to let go of toxic people
  4. Trust yourself to make good decisions for yourself
  5. Remember your value doesn’t lie in how your body looks like
  6. “Nobody’s perfect, everyone makes mistakes.” So allow yourself to make mistakes.

In addition to the ways above, practicing self-love can also be done by accepting all the pain and happiness you feel. Various emotions, such as fear, joy, and happiness, will help you to recognize yourself. This is certainly important in managing good self-love.

Although self-love is important, it doesn’t mean you can do whatever you want without caring about your surroundings. Be kind, caring and empathetic to others. If you overdo it, your self-love can turn you into a narcissist.

References :

Rachel Olivia Kiman, Nadiva Azeta Putri, Agnes Dini Pramesti, Anggita Uswatun Khasanah, Ivan Reynado